Mrs. Estee Lieblich
Explain to your child that every environment—whether it is school, airports, or roads—has its own set of rules, both spoken and unspoken. To succeed, we often need to follow these rules, even if they feel difficult or do not align with our personal opinions. It does not matter whether we agree with the rule or not; if it is a school rule, it must be respected and followed.
In reality, most school rules are based on thoughtful reasoning. Encourage your child—and yourself—to be curious about the reasons behind the school rules before dismissing them. Sometimes, learning the backstory offers new insights or helps you appreciate the rule’s purpose. You might even find ways to integrate some of these lessons into your own life. Even if you still disagree, this process helps clarify your values.
As a parent, if you disagree with a rule, avoid sharing those objections with your child. It is important to distinguish between standing firm in your family’s values and criticizing the school. You can uphold your beliefs without disparaging the school or its authority. For example, your family might prioritize healthier eating than what the school offers or follow different minhagim. When talking with your child, emphasize your family’s values without undermining the school’s rules or those who enforce them. Explain that following school rules is crucial for success in that environment, while maintaining your family’s priorities at home.
This is also a valuable opportunity to teach your child an important life lesson: People have different priorities and place value on different things. Your child will encounter many situations where other people’s values differ from their own, and learning to navigate these differences is essential. There are times to follow the rules, times to be open and curious about other perspectives, and times to simply accept differences between each other.
Encourage your child to be confident in your family’s values while respecting the school’s environment. Help them feel secure in their own perspective without disparaging others.