Rabbi Aharon Wilschanski
That is a great question, and one that many parents wonder about—especially when their child is away from home for the first time. A lot depends on the family dynamics, the boy’s personality and maturity, and whether this is his first time away or not.
In general, it is common—especially at the beginning—for a child to speak with his parents two or three times a week. Many families check in after Shabbos, before Shabbos, and once in the middle of the week. Every family is different, and some children may want to call every other day at first, which is also completely normal.
More important than the exact frequency is that the communication is supportive and helps the child adjust. Even if a child is calling daily, parents can gently encourage growing independence by keeping the calls brief or slowly spacing them out. As the child settles in, the need for frequent calls usually lessens—often dropping to once or twice a week.
It is also important for parents to check in if they have not heard from their child, especially before Shabbos or Yom Tov. A full week should not go by without any communication. Sometimes, a short message from a parent—“Just thinking of you”—can mean a great deal to a child adjusting to a new setting.