What should parents share with the school? How much does the school need to know about what is happening at home? Let’s discuss the balance between transparency and privacy.
Mrs. Dena Gorkin
One of the key elements of an effective parent–school partnership is open and honest communication. And yes—it’s a balance. Parents should aim to put their child’s best foot forward with the school while also sharing relevant information about their child’s needs, challenges, and strengths. Schools, in turn, should be clear about their expectations, policies, and observations.
This exchange of information ensures both sides are aware of factors that might impact a child’s learning or behavior. For example, if a child is experiencing a significant change at home or has a medical condition, informing the school enables teachers and staff to provide appropriate support and accommodations.
The general rule of thumb, in an easy to remember rhyme is:
If it could cause your child to fail,
be absent, or be late
Make sure that you communicate.
Medical issues—such as seizures, panic attacks, or serious allergies—should always be shared. Withholding this type of information can unintentionally harm your child, other children, or staff. In general, share on a need-to-know basis. Often, you don’t need to give specifics to the school —unless the details are essential to keeping your child safe or providing proper support.
You might say to a teacher: “We have a situation at home right now that I’m not at liberty to share, but I want you to know it’s affecting my daughter emotionally. She may be extra weepy, need some downtime, or not be able to complete assignments. Thanks for understanding.”
Share anything that could impact learning or social functioning, such as:
· Sensory issues or learning differences
· Situations that may cause frequent absences or tardiness
· Medical or emotional concerns that require attention during the school day
Whenever possible, communicate with a point person—someone who has the authority and ability to follow through on what your child needs.
Mutual respect and trust
Parents and educators each bring unique expertise. Parents know their child’s personality, history, and home life. Educators bring professional insight into learning and development. Trust is built when both sides show reliability, maintain confidentiality, and demonstrate a genuine commitment to the child’s best interests.
Collaboration and flexibility
Challenges will arise—academic struggles, behavioral issues, or disagreements about policies. When parents and schools approach these as a team, they can brainstorm solutions and share responsibility for carrying them out. For example, if a child is struggling to focus, parents and teachers can develop strategies that are reinforced at home and at school.
Keep the focus on the child
The ultimate goal is the child’s growth and happiness. This means setting aside personal grievances or institutional pride and prioritizing what’s best for the child. Sometimes that requires difficult conversations or compromise—but keeping the child at the center guides wise decision-making and fosters a supportive environment.
The partnership between parents and schools works best when there is effective communication, mutual respect, trust, collaboration, a child-centered focus, and shared celebrations. When parents and schools work together, children are far more likely to thrive academically, socially, and emotionally.