What are red flags to look out for in the first weeks and months of my son going away for mesivta?
Rabbi Aharon Wilschanski
If you notice your son’s academic performance, grades, or attendance are declining, or if he shows a lack of engagement, motivation, or enthusiasm, these can be early warning signs that something is wrong. A sudden withdrawal from communication—especially if your child is usually talkative and social—or a reluctance to talk about school may indicate distress, anxiety, or even bullying.
It is important to pay attention to major changes in your child’s behavior, even if some children are naturally less communicative. If you sense fear in your child’s voice or notice they are avoiding certain topics, these are definite red flags. While it can be harder to pick up on these signs when your child is away from home, maintaining open lines of communication with your child and their teachers or school staff increases your awareness and ability to intervene early if needed.