What guidance do you have for parents about letting their children attend Simchas Beis Hashoeva nighttime dancing? Should elementary or teenage children go unsupervised, and how can parents set appropriate boundaries?
Rabbi Aharon Wilschanski
Simchas Beis Hashoeva in Crown Heights is a special and memorable experience—when it’s celebrated the right way. But, it’s important to recognize that not every part of the environment is conducive for young children (and others, too).
My strong feeling is that elementary-aged children should not attend unsupervised. Young children need the presence of a responsible adult to ensure their safety and well-being. It’s simply too much for them to navigate on their own. Ideally, a parent or trusted adult should accompany children. The goal is to give children a joyful, positive experience without exposing them to any situation they’re not ready for.
For older children—especially those between 12 and 16—there can be more flexibility, but only with clear boundaries. I don’t think it’s appropriate or safe to be out until 3 or 4 in the morning. While it might feel beautiful, meaningful, and enjoyable to be out dancing and at a Farbrengen, teens still need structure and a clear curfew. If your teenager wants to go dancing, frame it positively: “Yes, I want you to go. I want you to dance and enjoy the simcha.” But give them a time limit.
It’s also important to explain the “why” behind your rules. Let your child know these boundaries aren’t about limiting their fun—they’re about keeping them safe and helping them grow in a spiritual way and into responsible decision-makers. When children understand the reasoning, they’re far more likely to respect the rules.
By setting clear expectations and staying involved, parents can help their children enjoy Simchas Beis Hashoeva in a way that’s both uplifting and safe.