How should I go about communication with an out-of-town Yeshiva? What should these conversations include? And should I share about sensitive topics like diagnoses, medication, or personal habits?
Rabbi Aharon Wilschanski
That is an important question, and one that comes up often. As I said before, communication leads to your child’s success. I believe it is always important to be honest with your child’s teachers or dorm counselors—whether it’s about a diagnosis, a concern, or anything that will help your child be successful in school. Sometimes parents worry that sharing information, like a child’s ADHD or medication, might lead to stigma or rejection. But in my experience, transparency is almost always in the child’s best interest. (And by the way, I strongly believe that ADHD children and people, for that matter, are some of the most talented people out there.)
When educators are aware of a child’s needs, they can provide the appropriate support and accommodations. For example, some of us learn and do better with auditory styles, others with visual or kinesthetic; there are so many different types. Sharing that information helps everyone. The goal is to set your child up for success, not to hide or withhold details that could make a difference.
It is appropriate for parents to ask what tools or supports are in place to help their child thrive. You can discuss how your child learns best, any specific needs or preferences, and what the daily routines look like. When it comes to dorm life, it is also helpful to ask about supervision, schedules, and how challenges are handled.
Of course, privacy is important, and not every detail needs to be shared. But when it comes to things that could impact your child’s well-being or success, open communication is key. The more honest and collaborative you are with the school, the better the outcome for your child.
Remember, you are not just advocating for your own child—open, honest communication can improve the environment for all students. When parents and educators work together, everyone benefits.
Ultimately, do not be afraid to ask questions or share concerns. Teachers and counselors want to help, and the more they know, the more effective they can be in supporting your child.