Mrs. Estee Lieblich
Transitioning from the relaxed pace of summer to the more structured demands of the school year can be challenging for both children and parents. Summer often allows for spontaneity—late bedtimes, flexible mealtimes, and slower mornings—while the school year requires a sharper rhythm. Helping the whole family ease into this new routine can make the change smoother and less stressful for everyone.
The goal isn’t to impose a rigid, minute-by-minute plan, but to create enough structure to give everyone a sense of security and predictability. While much of real life happens in the moment and can’t be planned for, the more you can prepare in advance, the fewer last-minute pressures you’ll face.
Most of the school-year schedule will be fixed—wake-up times, breakfast, school—but you can build in flexibility where possible, such as after-school activities or homework timing. Letting children have a say in these flexible parts, like choosing when to do homework, gives them a sense of ownership and control. A great way to do this is by having a brief “mini-meeting” (see sidebar) to talk through upcoming changes and agree on a plan together.
Make the schedule visible.
Simply saying the schedule out loud isn’t always enough. Children often lack the internal structure that adults have, so visual reminders are more effective. Predictable schedules give a sense of safety and security to children. Post the schedule on the wall where everyone can see it, and make multiple copies so each child has their own. Just like the posted daily routine in a preschool classroom, this helps kids know what to expect.
What are the signs that a child is having a harder-than-usual time transitioning from summer to school, and how should parents respond?
Signs that a child is struggling with the transition from summer to school include more frequent meltdowns, tantrums, increased demands, a generally worse mood, and more fighting with siblings. Essentially, everything gets heightened during this period. This can happen again after the Tishrei yomim tovim.
It’s important to recognize that these reactions are normal and expected. Normalizing the experience can take a lot of the stress out of it for both parents and children. Instead of thinking, “What kind of mother am I? What’s wrong with this child? This only happens in our house,” realize that these behaviors are a typical response to change and disruption in routine.
When you take the judgment out of the situation and expect some turbulence, it becomes easier to handle. For example, if you keep your children up late for family events or travel, you can expect more tantrums and meltdowns. These are natural consequences of the fun and disruption that come with vacations and holidays.
Rather than blaming yourself or your child, accept that this is part of the process. If you’re willing to let your kids have those late nights and special experiences of Tishrei, understand that some challenging behavior will follow. It’s all okay—it’s your choice as a parent, and it comes with the territory.
Don’t flip the situation on your young child or guilt them for their behavior. Don’t say, “After all the great times we gave you, you are doing this to us…” Instead, remind yourself and your child that transitions take time. It may take a week or so to get back into a normal schedule, and that’s to be expected. The adjustment period will settle down on its own.
However, if things don’t improve after a reasonable amount of time, it may be a sign of a deeper issue that needs to be addressed separately.
Mini Meeting
Modeling how you plan and adjust a schedule can be a valuable life skill for your children. Before a change—such as starting the school year or going away for Shabbat—have short, casual “mini-meetings.” Serve a snack, talk about what is coming up, and make sure everyone is on the same page. For example, you might say: “So-and-so invited us for Shabbos, and we would love to go, but we are wondering if it might be too stressful with the way bedtime’s been lately. What do you think?”
For older kids, a mini-meeting before a trip or vacation can be a chance to highlight that a good attitude conveys gratitude: noticing the good parts of an experience can make the trip feel more enjoyable for everyone, and if things do not go exactly the way you want—like who you are sitting next to in the car or which bedroom you sleep in—keeping it from becoming a big deal is another way to show gratitude to your parents.
These conversations reduce anxiety, set clear expectations, and help transitions go more smoothly. You can also use them to make “shared game plans” for upcoming activities so everyone feels included in the process.