Rabbi Aharon Wilschanski
Transitions can be challenging, for both children and parents, but they are also a completely normal part of life. When a child is getting ready to leave home for yeshiva or enter a new environment, it is natural for both the child and the parents to feel some anxiety. The key is to recognize that this is a normal part of the process. Don’t mistake typical transition anxiety for something more serious, like clinical anxiety, which involves more intense symptoms and may require professional help.
Parents should talk openly with their child about what to expect. Let them know that it is normal to feel nervous or even a little scared, and that these feelings usually pass as they adjust. Sharing your own experiences with transitions can also help normalize what they are feeling. The more a child knows that these emotions are common, the less likely they are to feel isolated or “different”, the more manageable the experience becomes.
If your child has a history of anxiety or is showing signs of physical discomfort, like trembling, chest pain, nausea, headaches, sweating, or sleep troubles, it is important to address those concerns early. In such cases, do not hesitate to seek guidance from a professional. But for most children, simply knowing that anxiety is normal, knowing what to expect, and having someone to talk to makes a significant difference.
If your son is showing anxiety even before leaving, gently ask him what is on his mind. Identify his main concerns and help him think through some strategies or small adjustments that might ease the transition. These conversations are valuable and should happen before he takes off for such a major milestone like leaving home for yeshiva for the first time.
It is also important to equip your child with practical tools for coping with this new stage and in life in general. As mentioned, one of the most helpful things you can do is simply normalizing anxiety during transitions—just knowing that it is expected can make it easier to face. Encourage healthy distractions like music, reading, games, or learning something new. Remind them that the teachers and staff are there to support them, and that they can always reach out to you if they need support. A strong foundation of trust between you and your child before he leaves goes a long way.
Parents should also prepare themselves for the adjustment period. It’s normal to hear complaints or worries from your child in the first weeks. Unless there are serious concerns about safety or well-being, try to let the adjustment process unfold naturally and give it time. Most children settle in and thrive once they get past the initial hurdles.
Ultimately, the best thing parents can do is to be supportive, patient, and communicative—both with their child and with each other. Both parents presenting a united, calm approach helps the child feel secure and confident as they take this important step.
Mrs. Estee Lieblich
Transitioning to a new school, especially for the first time, can be a huge adjustment for both children and parents. It is important to recognize that feelings of homesickness, anxiety, sadness, or overwhelm are completely normal during this period. As a parent, being prepared for this transition—and reminding yourself and your child that it is a normal and expected reaction to this big change in life—can make a significant difference in how you both cope.
One of the most helpful things you can do is to normalize the experience. Let your child know that it is okay to feel out of place or to miss home. Share with them that these feelings are temporary and that, with time, things will settle down. When children understand that their emotions are normal, it can help them feel less alone and more empowered to get through the tough days.
It can be helpful to view your role as that of a supportive coach for your teen: validate their experience and also give them empowering messages that they have what it takes to get through it.
When your child comes home during school breaks and then returns to school, you might notice some regression or renewed anxiety. Remind yourself and your child that this is a common pattern and that they have successfully adjusted to new things before. Reassure them that, just like last time, they will soon feel comfortable again.
Finally, keep the lines of communication open. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and listen without immediately trying to fix things. Sometimes, just knowing that their parent understands and supports them is enough to help a child through the transition. By approaching the process with patience, empathy, and reassurance, you can help your child build resilience and confidence in facing new challenges.