Mrs. Estee Lieblich
I’m happy to see that schools are really reducing the amount of homework. Homework is a perennial topic for parents, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
When homework becomes a consistent source of stress in the home, it’s okay to step back. “Let home be a safe haven—don’t let school stress invade your family space.” A tense homework routine day after day can disrupt the peace we try to create in our homes.
The first step is to honestly assess what homework is doing—for your child and your family. Is it building skills and responsibility, or is it creating daily conflict? If you can handle homework with your child, go for it. But if it’s causing stress in your home or your relationship, it’s not worth it. Remember: you are not obligated to bring school stress into your home.
If your child is motivated and homework fits easily into your routine—wonderful. But if it’s a nightly struggle, don’t hesitate to set boundaries. You can say to the teacher: “I understand homework is important, but for reasons A, B, and C, we’re not able to prioritize it right now. Please keep me informed if my child falls behind so we can find other solutions.” This isn’t about avoiding responsibility; it’s about protecting your family’s well-being.
Keep in mind: some teachers may not fully grasp how much homework can impact home life—especially if they aren’t parents themselves yet. A mature, experienced teacher will likely understand if you communicate openly and respectfully.
Also consider the long-term impact: if homework causes constant family tension, your child may start to associate school—and even learning itself—with stress and negativity. If your child is already having a hard time at school or with a particular teacher, bringing that stress home can feel like bringing the teacher into your living room. It’s simply not worth damaging the parent-child relationship, especially at a time when your child needs all the support they can get from you.
On the other hand, if your child wants to do their homework and feels good about it, that changes the conversation. In that case, support and encouragement are very appropriate.
Should I remind my child to do their homework?
Homework is ultimately the child’s responsibility. If a child is too young to manage that responsibility, they may be too young to have homework in the first place.
It’s often more effective to let the natural consequences of missed homework—like feedback from a teacher—do the teaching, rather than turning the parent into the “enforcer.”
If reminders become constant, parents can slip into the “nagging and annoying” role—at which point, the child may start tuning you out. The danger is that they stop hearing everything you say, even the important things.
Instead, put the ball in their court and try a collaborative approach. Sit down with your child and discuss how homework will work in your home. You might say: “Homework helps you review what you learned, and your teacher designed it with that in mind. How can we make this work so you’re getting it done, and I’m not constantly reminding you?”
You might agree: “I’ll remind you once when it’s time, and again in five minutes if needed—but that’s it.” If they manage their homework independently, even most of the time, consider offering a small reward. These kinds of conversations build ownership and reduce power struggles—without sending the message that homework isn’t important.
Final Thought:
The goal is not to be hands-off—it’s to be intentional. Support your child, but don’t let homework dominate your relationship. If your child is motivated, they’ll handle it. If not, let school consequences take the lead. Your relationship and your home atmosphere are most important!
Golden Nuggets & Practical Tips
- If homework is causing stress, it is not worth it. Protect your relationship with your child.
- Do not be afraid to communicate with teachers—most will understand if you are honest about your limits.
- Avoid becoming the “nagging parent.” Set clear boundaries: one or two reminders, then step back.
- Let home be a safe haven. School stress should not spill over into family life.
- If you need to, hire a tutor or ask an older sibling for help, rather than letting homework disrupt your evenings.